Idiot’s Guide To The Universe #5

Sign #5- IDIOTS FIXATE ON PROBLEMS

idiot oh no1

This is another most curious habit of idiots. Fixation on problems.

Before you read on, take a phone that is not water resistant and dunk it into a bucket of water. After about ten minutes, bring it out. My guess is that it is off. Right?

Now, I need you to do something for me. Look at the phone very well. Has it come on? No? Well maybe you aren’t looking at it hard enough. Try harder! Still hasn’t come on? Okay, try something else. Shout at the phone. It should come on. Hasn’t still come on? Oh, you’re not doing this right. Shout harder at it. Perhaps, the water has blocked its ears. Shout even louder.

Didn’t work? Don’t give up yet. I’m sure you have heard that [silly] phrase- “never give up”. If shouting doesn’t seem to work, then begin complaining. I’m sure this should work.

I take an active leadership role in a number of organisations. One of the things I have come to realise is that problems do not solve themselves. I also realise that,

Looking at a problem, no matter how long, doesn’t solve it.

Shouting at a problem, no matter how high, rarely solves it.

Complaining about a problem, no matter how bitterly, hardly solves it.

So I tell whoever works with me, if you’re pointing out a problem, then you must suggest a solution- no matter how little. If you’re shooting down someone else’s solution, then you must bring a better, more workable one. So they know better than to come to me to tell me about a problem without telling me how it may be solved. One of the first things to do when faced with a problem, I show people, is to first recognise it as one. And then the very next thing is to begin to think about a solution or how to handle or manage or adapt to it.

I do not tolerate people who point out problems or just talk about them without thinking of a solution or of contributing to the solution. I do not tolerate idiots. You shouldn’t too.

Kunle Soriyan says if you say “Nigeria is a crazy country! Nothing works here! Nigeria needs help!” perhaps you are the one that really needs the help. We have known for 50-odd years that Nigeria is a crazy country. We have known since 1960 that Nigeria needs help. And you are just finding out? Really? Then you must be a blast from the past. And you must need serious help.

This is what idiots do. They stare at a problem with morose eyes. The active idiots shout about the problem. And the vocal idiots complain about it. But no idiots attempt to fix problems. They do not look for solutions. Their concentration is on the problem and the wish that it would go away on its own.

To an idiot, what should otherwise be the very basic concept of problem solving becomes one of the higher mysteries of the celestial system.

Meanwhile, if you were one of those who actually threw your phone into water, try crying at it. Perhaps it would come on… perhaps crying can solve problems.

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