Idiot’s Guide To The Universe #7



This sign is what I consider the greatest of the idiot’s guide. Every other sign melts into this one. This is true because, basically, an idiot either does not know or simply does not accept that he is an idiot- at least as far as his consistent behaviour is concerned.

An idiot possibly thinks that every other person is an irredeemable idiot and that they need help. But he rarely ever thinks of himself as one and so does not seek or accept help. As a matter of fact, you might not like yourself when an idiot is through with you for daring to offer him help.

This is a tricky one. Does it mean that everyone who does not regard themselves as idiots, are actually idiots? Of course not. What this means is that, along with the wise ones, an idiot would also say he is wise- even wiser. And he will say this in his loudest voice, very much like a braying donkey in heat. In the meantime, while every single objective person clearly notices his idiotic behaviour being displayed at every given opportunity, the typical idiot thinks he is the wisest person that the world has ever been fortunate to have and that we should all be glad that we have laid our eyes on him.

I have often thought that an idiot, to prove he was wiser than Solomon in the two-women-and-a-baby case, would have also ordered that the dead baby be divided as well so that he would be sure it was actually dead and that the lying woman was its mother. If you questioned his decision, he would order you divided alongside the baby.

The truth is, what idiots think they are and who they really are, are often very disparate.

The very first step, therefore, for the idiot willing to get rid of his idiotic habits, is to realise things for what they really are- to accept that he displays idiocy on a frequent basis. To achieve this, he would need to obtain feedback and be objective about it. He would need to place himself in perspective, rather than think he is author and finisher of all perspectives. He would need to understand that there is an established pattern of wisdom. He would need to stop himself being on the defensive every time and begin to use his ears. After all, they were created for listening. He would need to ask very critical questions and observe himself.

Do I CONSISTENTLY repeat the same mistakes in my one life? Never learning from the past? [Get into wrong relationships every time, fail always, get broke all the time] Do I CONSISTENTLY avoid responsibility for my life and blame someone else for all my misfortune in my one life? [perhaps the technologically advanced witches in my village who have improved their wireless expertise] Do I CONSISTENTLY argue about things that have not added to my one life? Have I CONSISTENTLY remained in one spot without growing- or taking any steps that would ultimately lead to growth in my one life? What is my reaction when faced with a problem? Do I CONSISTENTLY whine about, cry, shout, complain, talk and not do anything? Do I CONSISTENTLY find myself in the congregation of the Idiot Union? Are the majority of people in my life ONLY people who think like me and see like me?

I happen to understand that a nation would not grow beyond the collective intelligence strength of its people. If we were given ALL the aid in the world, but we do not grow leaders who think right and not like idiots, we would never grow.

So this whole series is dedicated to young leaders who take responsibility for their future and the future of Nigeria; who understand what it would take to build people, structures, systems, industries and a nation that is sustainable; and who are willing to learn and grow to fill that role. This is dedicated to you.

In that place of wise men… I hope to see you.


AKPOVETA, Valentine ‘t


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